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Introduction to Random Confusion

My mind is telling me this should be a few bars to set the mood (what? Music geek?). Sorry. Just a random thought passing through. But thats what this is all about, right? Of course! This whole shebang is about random thoughts and randomness. When any human looks at the universe, it is obvious what binds it together. Okay, so God binds all together. Some would say physics does, but God made physics, so whatever. Yet there are some things in the universe that are constant. Apart from God, two major constants are change and randomness. The cosmos are always changing, and they usually change randomly to human eyes. From our perspective, it seems that in this madness of change, of life, there is no method..
Of course, there is method to the madness. This method is Gods method. God is in all, over all, and through all. He rules the world from on high. He is in charge of this . . . mess. Gods domain is this apparent randomness. So, as I lead my life, seemingly made up of random, unrelated events, I can remember god. God has a plan for me, for you, for the whole world. (Pardon? Sorry, I cant say that I feel like discussing predestination. Not today. Terribly sorry. Try me again, say . . . oh . . . I dont know . . . not now.) Anyway, before I continued about randomness, I felt that Id best point out that I know theres a Master Planner up there (fine, Im more Arminian than Calvinist. Happy?), smiling down with love and involved in everyday events.
Yet, as far as things look to us, the world is random. It looks as though everything is disconnected, disunited, unrelated. Well, it does to me some of the time, anyway. I think it is, too. I dont think God is up there deciding what Ill eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner, all my snacks. I dont think God decided I would scratch beneath my eye just a moment ago. I mean, sure, every day is a miracle and a gift from Godand if it is seen as such, then the ordinary will become extraordinary (if anyones read that somewhere before, it was me in two compositions of mine last June). When we read fiction, everything is connected (well, usually. Mrs. Parker has made us read . . . well, thats a different story). Events in the plot of a novel all unravel for a specific purpose. Life is not always the same. Well, I guess in the end it all unravels for the specific purpose God has for us. But to whom does it really look that way? I mean, you never have people in novels who, like me, make random comments. I even make random noises (blaahhhh!)!!! In fiction, random comments and random noises doe not come up unless they play a role in unravelling the plot. For example, in Jaws, Richard Dreyfusss character tells someone to be careful because the canisters of compressed air could blow up. The compressed air and its explosive nature come into play later on in the film. If I were to tell a friend who ate pencils that he could choke and die (like that Corn Nuts ad!!!!!), I wouldnt necessarily have a run-in with death via pencil-eating. So much that happens in life is totally random and serves no apparent purpose. In fact, I think that a lot of stuff serves no purpose in propelling the "plot" of life. Life is random. Its just the way things are. And unless we come to grips with this randomness, I think we may be tossed about relentlessly, seeking meaning in every single event. Say I trip on my way down the stairs. I will not get up, declaring, "I guess God wanted me to fall down the stairs today." To do so, in my opinion, would be absolutely ludicrous! In fact, I would probably get up and continue with my life, the trip having had no bearing on what I was doing. Why? Because tripping and falling is a totally random event.

What you may or may not be about to read (depending on a variety of random circumstances) is just that: random. The whole philosophy behind Randomness is its random nature. Initially, I had ideas I sent out. Id find a cool website, and Id forward it to people. Maybe Id have an online run-in with, say, a staunch theistic evolutionist who seemed to lean more towards an a-deistic view of science than a Christian view, and Id share our e-mail conversations with some of my friends who share my young-earth, scientific creationist views (for those who dont want to open that whole can of worms, none of my articles deal with the whole creation/evolution debate, so pleaseread on!). I decided, on the spur of the moment (quite randomly), to make a "newsletter" called "Random Thoughts", where I would express just thatmy random thoughts. The original name only lasted for the first issue, and my "newsletter" has been Randomness ever since. I felt at the time that I had a very random mind with random thoughts, emotions, ideas floating around in it. I guess I actually did. I still do. Only now, I have a stronger focus on God, which helps make my thoughts, emotions, ideas more unified. At the time I set out on this random adventure, God was showing me that I am less "logical" than I thought. I was embracing the very emotional part of me and bring my whole self to Gods throne, laying it at His feet. Upon realising I did not operate logically, I saw how very randomly I operate. I still am random. I make strange noises for no reason (blip!), run in circles (whee!), hop up and down (boingy! boingy!), talk to myself (really?), laugh at nothing (ha, ha, ha!), sing songs to (at) people (Ill send all my loving to you . . .) . . . the list goes on. Of course, the concept of this being a newsletter was silly, since Randomness does not primarily deal in news. Randomness, as its original title declares, deals primarily in thoughts. Therefore, Randomness is a thoughtletter (a term first coined by Rob Foster).
It has been a year since I set out on this unpremeditated ( synonym for random) adventure. Over that year, twenty-nine issues have been sent and membership has swelled (isnt that swell??). Randomness is sent whenever I feel like sending it. Topics have ranged from winning free pops to the greatness of God. My emotions expressed have been everywhere, from curiosity to despair to exasperation to elation. I have written about what I love, what I hate, what irks me. I have spelled Russian with three Ss, have quoted Audio Adrenaline, have forgotten that dissatisfied is a word, have quoted Audio Adrenaline, have skipped words, have quoted Audio Adrenaline. Randomness is adventitious ( another synonym for random), really. And God has used Randomness. Apparently, my words have uplifted some of my friends. Randomness has given me a place to vent, a place to ponder, a place to conjecture, a place to express, a place to be random, a place to be me. God has helped my through Randomness. It has given light to some of my greatest dreams. I has uncovered some of my worst fears.
In your hands you hold the first year of Randomness. In your hands you hold the ideas, hopes, and aspirations of a seventeen-, eighteen-year-old boy/man. In your hands you hold twenty-nine issues of fortuitous randomness. In your hands you hold a work of art. In your hands you hold multiple small windows into a writers soul. In your hands you hold a little piece of me. So go on, read it. Read every issue, unedited. Every idea, every typo, every spelling error, every grammatical mistake, every missing word (okay, so technically theyre missing, so they cant be here), every misplaced comma, (every parenthetical statement), every lame joke, every wrong word, every nonsensical statement, every anecdote, every formatting problemits all there. Enjoy. Please, read. I hope you like what you find.

Peace of the Eternal, Risen Christ,
Matthew Hoskin

Copyright 2001, Matthew Hoskin